Trick or Trick

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Trick or Trick.

They would tie me to a chair and subject me to endless hours of reality TV programs, I think I’d cave in and just negotiate something with them, maybe a visit to the cash point so I can buy all the sweets that they wanted, no one should have to endure that kind of torture.

I may not even last that long if they decided to hit me with Big Brother, or I am (sorry that should say was) a celebrity get me out of here…. shudder


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I want to go exploring, even if it is London somewhere, just armed with my camera and some warm clothes and a travel card for when my feet get sore, possibly with a good pub guide for london.

I saw this and thought it seems like fun

snippets of my day

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I went out at lunch time to grab a sandwich, the clouds are grey and there is a light rain falling, I would actually prefer the rain to be a bit harder, that fine stuff that soaks everything is more like something you would mist your plants with rather than consider actual rain, but it is what I have at the moment.

London Skyline
London Skyline

I was considering eating lunch in one of our meeting rooms so I could look out on the grey day but decided against that so I could come write this post instead. But as I am here doing this and writing I have no real direction that this post is going to go in, I am rambling, passing the time writing done my very thoughts of this moment as a way to just write, sometimes just writing is therapeutic.

What I did do though is put on this you tube track of rain and thunder. I suppose this is really just an extension of what I wrote here about how nature chills me. I like these grey days, as long as you’re dressed properly for the rain (which I hasten to add I am not) then I cannot really fault them, sadly no shelter around here accept maybe a semi exposed doorway that I could stand in with a polystyrene cup of something, but then my sandwich would be messy and there would be chicken and salad surrounding the area where I stand.

I am out for dinner tonight with a mate, heading off down to a steak place that we both really like, I’ve not been there in many months and we used to be regulars (as in once a week), it will be good to see them down there again, although I feel a little embarrassed for not having visited in so long.

I think I will actually wander off to that meeting room for the last 15 minutes of lunch time.

Describe your lunchtime to me?

Nature Chills Challenge!

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Amommas view is running a little challenge, go read about it here.

I would hazard a guess that most people can chill out from something in nature, the challenge is to describe that something in around 150 words (or less gulp).

More than one thing chills me out from nature, but this is one of my favourites.


I’m prepared, for it has been threatening for a while. I stand out on the balcony off of my living room, mug of hot tea on the table next to me and I am looking out across the estate and down the high street of the town that I live in. The clouds are thick and heavy; dark rolling shapes fight and jostle for position, the smell of ozone is thick in the air. This is perfect.

The first fat drops of rain begin to fall and the sound of their impact on the ground is bliss to my ears. I stand, watching. Then I hear the first faint roll of thunder across the land, the rain is steady and I wrap a coat further around me as the chill in the air bites. Then a flash, I cannot make out its direction but it is definitely there, I count, 1 and 2 and 3 and 4… the roll of thunder is there again.

The intensity of the rain has increased, the wind has picked up and sheets of rain fall across my path, the noise on the ground is a crescendo of failing water and run-off, the flash is there again, I see it this time, forked lightning, the shapes embedded on my vision for a few seconds as I try and blink it away, 1 and 2 and 3… the grumble of thunder washes over me… pure contentment.

(241 words, a bit over).

the fullest

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That 150m Euro Lottery prize eluded me again which is a shame really as I think retirement would really suit me, I have the first few months already planned out, and if you wish for it hard enough then it will surely happen huh? So perhaps it’ll happen next time.

I’ve been reading some positive type posts out on the internet today, they are good posts to read (as long as they are not riddled with vomit inducing phrases, which these weren’t). It is no secret amongst those that I know that I would be considered an incy wincy bit of a pessimist, However I like reading the posts as I am hoping that the positive angles rub off on me, perhaps worming their way into my subconscious and actually making me a more positive person.

One phrase in particular stood out for me and that was “living life to the fullest”. To me that conjures up visions of a life that is filled doing the things that make you happy, maybe having only 6 hours sleep at night and then the rest of the time its full on, going places you want to go, seeing places you want to see and spending time with people that you want to spend time with, you would get home early evening every night and have that ache in your limbs, like you get when you go into London xmas shopping for the whole day and generally been on the “the go”.

But life generally isn’t like that is it? I mean I can only speak for me but let’s just take a typical week day. This week for example, ill go to bed at 11pm, and am up at 7ish, wash, dress, breakfast, commute, work. I work till 6, commute home and home just gone 7. So that is already 12 hours of the 24 cycle gone in these tasks.

Once I am at home that 4 hours till 11pm bedtime which is technically mine isn’t, I shower, have dinner, wash up, dry up maybe put away, deal with other people for other things but lets be really really conservative and say all that other stuff is 1.5 hours that leaves 2.5 hours to live life to the fullest…. Really?

What you say you lived life to the fullest, if so what do you do? If not what would you consider living live to the fullest for you?

Dream on dreamer

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dreamer photo dream_zpsd141caad.jpg I would say I am a bit of a day dreamer, thoughts and scenarios of “perfect” situations pass through my mind many times per day. From standing near the beach during a violent storm watching powerful waves smash onto the shore through to laying in a field of tall grass with a woman whilst the last rays of a warm summer sun dip below the horizon. Of course these “perfect” situations and thoughts are mine; you may well find them as dull as dishwater.

I used to think it was a good thing having these thoughts but my opinion has changed, it has changed because I am constantly being disappointed because they are never realised to the full. The thing is that I find it difficult not to keep making up those videos in my head, I see photographs on-line and my imagination runs riot. What we really need is for the holodeck in Star Trek to be real, I could live there in blissful ignorance.

Someone mentioned to me that things are rarely perfect and I completely agree, but it is difficult to pull imperfect things into a day dream, you don’t want to spoil the thought with rubbish like that. When I think about a house I would like it is my perfect house, when I think about the happiness I want it is perfect, not flawed, but I appreciate that imperfect and flawed are the norm, so things can be imperfectly perfect… can’t they?

in a land far far away

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Snow Trees
Image credit: Matio – click for a bigger, better picture

It seems like a million years ago now but I won a competition to spend a long weekend in Finland, specifically a place called Salla which is t’up norf of the country. I remember that we flew out on a Friday getting to Gatwick at silly-o-clock and flying out to Rovaniemi then getting on a coach for a long arsed journey up to Salla, I think it took about 2.5/3 hours to get there, and that was just the coach portion.

We eventually got to the resort that we were going to be staying in and after some initial confusion when they told me that they were going to put me in a regular room I finally got my keys to one of the log cabins that was set deep within the woods.

This picture is exactly the same design of cabin I stayed in.

I loved the 2 days I spent here, it didn’t matter that it was around -35 outside; it didn’t matter that as we took the walk from our cabin down the dense, tree lined path towards the main hotel complex we had to nip into a building about halfway down for a hot chocolate because the exposed skin on our faces felt hot and flushed.

It was such a superb experience. I remember when we first got there the guy that took us to the cabin set up the wood burning fire and it was raging away so much we felt so hot, I had to go outside to get snow to put on the fire to dampen it down. We stood at the window looking out upon the trees and ground that were thick with snow but we were inside all toasty and warm. I even cleared the snow from the path with a snow shovel (it’s the little things).

Where our bedroom was at the back of the cabin the snow almost came up to the window. There was a sauna in the cabin and I went in, opened the small window and looked out upon an endless landscape of snow, trees and mountains towards Russia in the distance. I felt like a king, this was the life.

On the way back we stopped off at a shopping place, we walked down a long tunnel underground to get to the shops, when we came out we found out that it was a converted nuclear blast shelter I wonder how many of those were dotted around the landscape of Finland. I would love to go back, especially now, it would be all sorts of romantic now.

I remember coming back to the cabin after dinner one night, the path was narrow, trees either side stretching hundreds of miles, everything laden with now, I stopped and looked up, the sky was amazing, I could see millions of stars I am sure, no light pollution, damn, no pollution at all it seemed.

the fun stops here

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A post by amommasview, coupled with what I read on the daily post here got me thinking about this whole blogging lark.

Firstly the daily post article.

The daily post article “Give ‘Em What They Want” analyzes stats so you can determine what is popular on your site and therefore tailor your posts accordingly, there most popular was blogging 101 and photography so they introduced more articles/posts around those subject, that is great, but in that particular article it is looking at it from a commercial viewpoint, I am not here on a commercial venture.

I did check my stats though just to test the theory. Over the last 30 days my most popular posts in terms of views has been Wish (34 views), Where are we now (24 views) and Pale Blue Dot (21 views)

If I spread this out to 90 days the most popular are About me (56 views), about the blog (39 views) and wish (34 views), so whilst it is great that people are looking at the about page it doesn’t tell me much on the actual posts that are popular, so going back to the 30 day numbers. What can I get from those in order to look at what I post.

More posts about my perfect woman? more quotes from Carl Sagan? Posts about butterfly effects and chaos theory? I am sure that I could glean something from it if I really wanted to but you know what, I don’t really want to.

Now amommasview’s post.

She is asking, “What do you want from me” (Is that a Pink Floyd tune?) She is trying to find out what her readers like best and she is asking herself what is her blog about. She seems to be torn between focusing on a few things or just writing what she feels like even if it is a bit of everything, although you can tell from the comments (I think) that she prefers this later option.

So how does this effect me?

Well I find it an interesting subject point; I am always thinking why I do this, what I want from it and all those fluffy questions that go along with blogging. As I’ve stated elsewhere and as vain and egotistical as it may sound I don’t just write for me to read it, if I wanted to do that I would fire up word and save the entry on my hard drive, or in fact I most probably wouldn’t bother with any of it at all.

Or wouldn’t I?

Read the rest of this entry »

Where are we now?

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All I know of chaos theory is when Jeff Goldblum mentioned it in Jurassic Park and all I know of The Butterfly Effect is a movie with Ashton Kutcher in it, but from the very little I know they are interesting concepts, but is everything connected? In the body of the prompt the author states a story about her dog and how she got the dog stating that a lot of small pieces had to fit together in order for her to find him that day and that a change in any one of those pieces could have resulted in her not even seeing the dog.

In that sense yes everything is connected but it is a present story in that she now has the dog and the connected pieces are in the past, just the same as me being in the job I am now. If I had not called that agency, if the person in the company had skipped my CV or if they had not received the email then I would be somewhere else or maybe even still unemployed, lots of different events came together to put us in the situations we are now. But what if? That is the more interesting question in some ways because they are the events we didn’t experience.

Humans… or it could just be me have a tendency to imagine alternative events that are much better than the current scenario. The Grass is always greener! I am sure you have heard that term before, if not you have a link to click and you can read all about it.

My greener grass scenario is this.

Back in the late 80s, early 90s a mate of mine (who is still a friend today) immigrated to Canada (he is Canadian by birth but had been brought up in the UK). A little over a year later he came back because he missed his friends. But he wanted to go back and he asked me if I wanted to go with him, he could get me a job as his boss from the company he worked at out there wanted him back and would give me a job. I even spoke to his boss as a few weeks later I had a letter from him to take to the Canadian embassy to get a green card to work out there.

This was nuts really , I could be going to live in Canada with a really good mate, working together, hitting bars, meeting lots of new people and travelling too (he had plans to visit Vancouver and California and I really really wanted to go… but.

I had a girlfriend, I think we had been together a year or two (same girl I am with now in fact) and although I wanted to go I didn’t want to break up, I tried talking into her letting me go for 6 months but she wouldn’t have it. her or the journey, I chose her.

There is not a week that goes by that I do not think of that Canada journey, I think I would be a very different person than I am now. The grass is greener scenario that I conjure up is that I would be more worldly wise and travelled, I would have great stories of parties around the globe and cities in countries that are far away, of staying in different apartments in different states, doing the sales job for a while but then moving away from that, maybe bar work, enjoying life, living life.

I would be healthier and slimmer (no idea why I think that). I may have even been still out there, the girlfriend and I would probably have split up as after the 6 months was up I may not want to have come home and 6 months away alters perceptions and thoughts. I may have settled down with a Canadian or American girl or maybe been a wanderer like Jack Reacher. It could even transpire that as I got used to life out there my mate and I went on separate paths.

It could have also turned out really badly and I could have ended up dead or living on the streets, who knows?

There are of course real world consequences to making that decision no matter how it turned out. I don’t think me and My girlfriend would have been together still, my friends would be different, Neither of my kids would be on this planet, someone else would live in the flat I live in, someone else would have my job.

Hundreds if not thousands of small events that did or did not happen lead my on the path that means I am at work, in London, sitting at this PC, typing this message, to all the people that read this. Isn’t it amazing and mind boggling that it could have all been so much different.

perfect place

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OK, this may come across a bit weird… but it is what it is. Some years back when I use to have a LiveJournal account some of the people I spoke to used to be on my MSN too, I posted up a picture on my site (although I am struggling to find that picture now which I thought I had saved on my machine). I had a conversation with one girl on my MSN about this and it developed into some weird “thing” about this would be our apartment if we lived in Paris. It even got to the stage where we used some online room designing software to design the place… I guess I was a little naïve back then.

Anyway, I remember the apartment, or at least the apartment from our descriptions and I still have it in my head as an ideal place to live. First some background.

I have this (most probably incorrect) notion that there are areas of Paris that are like an “old town”, narrow winding streets with apartment blocks that look something like this on them.

You would enter the building by a thick heavy door; the foyer would have either black and white, or stone tiles on the floor which had been designed in elaborate patterns would lead to a wide, sweeping spiral staircase that led to the various levels.

You could walk just around the corner from the staircase and use the elevator instead, the elevator would move up the building essentially between the staircase. The bars on the staircase where wrought Iron and the banister and heavy carved, think, dark wood.

The flat itself was on the top floor (4th floor), as you reached the top of the staircase (or got out the lift) there was only one apartment on this floor, there was a heavy front door painted green with a spyhole, and there were a couple of large houseplants either side (but not too close to) the front door.

Entering the flat there was a narrow hallway, a large bathroom/lavatory off to the right which held a roll top bath (no shower unit with the bath though) and powerful shower, as well as various units to hold toiletries and towels etc. opposite the bathroom would a large deep general purpose cupboard.

Down the hallway further there would be a large bedroom on the left and a kitchen on the right. Three would be a comfortable bedroom. The kitchen whilst looking old would be state of the art with more than enough room to cook up great food.

the last room at the end of the corridor, its door directly facing the front door would be a massive front room/living room, a quality sound system would be there with surround sound perfectly set up for the acoustics of the room, I could listen to all my ambient tracks in perfect peace here, there would be a large TV too, all connected up to the surround sound.

Off of the living room there would be a balcony, you could sit out here with friends for a few drinks etc, the balcony weaved its way around one side of the flat.

The pictures I linked here are pretty much how I see it, there would be a few details changed but I think they capture the essence of it, I only found those pictures today as I wrote this.